We each have perspective that equates to what we see as “the goods”, “the currency”, the stuff that carries weight in how we look up to or respect others. THIS currency is totally related to a persons life experiences and not just childhood ones (the old ones). It’s possible new views are being created every year of you life that alters what you see as the currency that has you looking up to others, admiring them, respecting them, loving them… all of these together or separately. And conversely, NOT feeling any of these things because a person continually shows you they have none of the stuff you consider “currency”.
For example: Wealth is NOT something that I personally consider currency in this regard. A person could be a billionaire, and I don’t care. What I care about is how they treat people. THAT is where they have currency that equates to my admiration, or respect, or love. Wealth is also one that IS currency for many. They feel that if a person can reach a point of countless dollars in the bank, they want to admire, respect, or even love that individual. AND to each his own! I am not saying that anyone’s view on “currency” is right or wrong. That’s not even part of my point. My point is that I’m realizing each of us throughout our lives build perspective, most often without even having to be conscious of it; it happens. Or like in my case. My life has been so full of incident, people, experience, I am looking at what I call currency, and why I see individuals the way I do.
Part of this current thinking is related to a realization that I do not love or respect or admire someone I’m “supposed to”. This particular individual has been in my life my whole life, and so oddly enough I am only just realizing that this person does not have any currency for me. Now, used in that respect… that sentence that way… it sounds like I’m saying that person has nothing I can take. No. Remember we are referring to currency as valuable qualities, the things that my mind sees as the ability to turn over to that person MY admiration, MY respect, MY love, TO them.
Which also takes me to a thought that sometimes we meet new friends and they show you quite quickly they are going to be someone who has your forms of currency. I don’t like to say value, because value makes us forget the way I’m using the word as it pertains to every individual having different perception. Because everyone has value to someone… just not to everyone. Currency in this instance is one’s own freedom to perceive, and equate.
Someone who is a new friend has shown me that they see compliments as currency, and so deliver compliments to me at every opportunity. I am not a person who hands out compliments easily and everywhere. It is also true that I don’t want a compliment without earning it. Not because I want to have to “work hard” for it, but I WANT to feel it’s a genuine compliment; warranted. Genuineness is very much a quality that is currency TO ME. And genuineness has to be seen over time. You can’t just hand it to someone once and be done. Compliments are likely currency for many, including this new friend. This new friend is likely expecting that all the compliments mean something to me, and on some level equate to full pockets. Here I stand with empty pockets, because they are not MY currency. Nor have they been preceded by time spent equating to genuineness.
Explaining this has taken me longer than I thought it would. I started out thinking this would be a short post because it felt like a simple concept. I’ve also been writing about differences lately that I haven’t yet shared. It’s this time spent dwelling on all of us being so vastly different, that I am looking at why I see people the way I do. And that is how I’ve ended up using the word currency. That person who I’m “supposed to” love, admire, and respect might be why my currencies are what they are, and that person has none. Apparently some people feel bad about not feeling the way they are “supposed to”. I do not. I look at my currencies: friendly, helpful, funny, loving, soft-hearted, open-minded, genuine, kind, happy… and they all lean to “top quality human”. There is no reason for me to feel bad that a person does not have these currency traits. Who they are is up to them. New friend or old, people will show ME when they have currency that gels with who I am. This is true for all of us whether or not we even do it consciously.