Monday, July 27

Wish-ers and Do-ers

Its possible there are people who don’t daydream. Who just let life roll along. Me, I’ve never enjoyed the mindless rolling. In my youth I was a wisher. I sat and watched travel documentaries, home improvement shows, things on science or astronomy and I wished.

I wanted to be traveling, creating, having a home, learning, and being out there as a grown-up and living life! Doing as much as I could.

Over the years my wishing turned into doing, more wishing, and a couple of times became years of stagnancy. For the most part I’ve managed to be a doer, experiencing other countries, making a home of my own, writing and pursuing many of my interests. I pretty much went from being a wisher to being a doer. Age was what held me back as a kid, but if anything holds me back now, it is only me.

I don’t understand boredom. There are too many cool things waiting for me to alter, create, make and go see.

I’m writing this because the thought of wisher vs doer has been on my mind lately. I’ve been spending a lot of time with a wisher and that time has amounted to me being less of a doer. Not for lack of wanting to do, but for lack of time and actually doing. This wisher I speak of believes that the wishing will turn into doing, but without changing anything, or ACTION, wishing stays wishing. I’m finding myself overly frustrated that my desire to be doing has me just wishing I were doing. Wishing I were not giving my time to wishers.

Although there is some small joy in the wishing, there is not anywhere near as much joy as in the doing. What’s hard about becoming a doer again? It’s letting the wishers be wishing without your company. It feels cruel, but it’s necessary. They can be wishing alone, while you are busy doing.

Frankly, whether my scale is tipping more to doing than wishing is my worry. Another person’s scale is theirs. The two shouldn’t affect one another detrimentally, and if they do, there’s a problem. Again, that’s my worry. Something that’s my fault. Something that I need to DO something about.

Tuesday, July 7

No Yellow Brick Road

For some their talents, loves, and interests manifest themselves when they are children. They are immediately in life so good at something, it is clear that they will spend their life with that “skill” whatever it be. It is in large part, they path they will take.

The rest of us tend to do one of two things. Make a choice what we want our skill to be and spend thousands of dollars going to school for that skill. Or, not go to school and pursue living life hoping that “the skill” comes to us. Even then, many of us reach the middle of our lives and say “What is my purpose? What am I meant to be doing? Where is my personal yellow brick road?”

What if there is no “Doing what you are meant to do”? What if you’re just supposed to follow your heart and act on what you feel. No path already paved for you, you have to pave your own. The pavement you use is dreams, joys, interests, desires, loves, and the things that make you happy, bring satisfaction, and lead to what we call “fulfillment”. There are no yellow bricks already laid.

The thing is, the majority of people will insist there is a path you must take, EVEN if it’s decided around age 18 and followed by going to school. I say again: I’m at this point in life where my friends are realizing, they thought they were on this yellow brick road, the one that gets them where they are supposed to be… and realizing there’s nothing. The plan and the path is failing them. The degree, the professional decisions, the money, the everything. These are part of the realization that years on their particular path didn’t get them anywhere they expected, just to the question “what is my purpose”?

At a young age I learned to trust my heart. It pointed me in many directions, most of which made everyone around me think I was crazy for not just sticking to the yellow brick road, but my heart told me not to.  Sure this path has been hard at times, but hindsight is clear, and I know that the dreams, joys, interests, desires part of how we find our path, has me where I am meant to be. It has me seeing places I need to go, and I feel incredibly lucky I am not suddenly saying “Goodbye yellow brick road” because I never wanted to stick to it anyway.

Listen to your heart, follow through on your joys and loves, trust that the happiness will make sure your lack of a yellow brick road is still a perfect path for you.

Here's a beautiful accompaniment for my thought. 

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