Monday, January 26

A Pure Love

I found myself trying to make somebody feel better about my situation after having to put my cat down, and I actually ended up making myself feel better.

We were on the subject of pets, how hard it is to lose them, and how much we love and get attached to them being part of our lives. In my friends upset after hearing the story of me putting my 15 year old cat down at the vets, I said something that felt profound, but at the same time—obvious.

Animals don’t know how to love a little. They don’t know how to be conditional with their affection, and frankly, they don’t even have the concept of needing to be forgiving. Their love is so genuine, so pure, all they know is to give and receive it.

This is why it’s so hard to say good bye to a pet we are attached to. Any attachment, whether it’s 7 months, or 15 years, has happened because you and an animal made a connection and started loving one another.

Not all pets seem to be interested in having a connection and a real loving relationship. I have a cat like that too, but most animals bond to us, and we to them. The reason we find it so easy to love them is possibly because they don’t have the human qualities that mean we get into arguments, struggles, or uncomfortable situations, so what a pets relationship is built on is “I love you, you love me, and I appreciate you feeding me.” Not only is it simple, but the simplicity allows the love to be pretty huge.

My Super loving cat “Phish” was with me for all 15 years of his life. He was a kitten when I took him into my arms saying “No, no, no, we can’t have a pet, it’s a commitment, but man he’s cute.” He and I became buddies immediately, playing all the time, and teaching him all the do’s and don’ts of living in a house with me.  My husband at the time joked “I can’t believe how that cat will do anything you tell him.” To which I replied by telling the cat to do something, and he did. Phish and me had a connection, we had that mutual love thing going on, and it was cool.

It will be a week tomorrow since I put him down, but I still have a painful lump in my throat as I think about him. In this week without him, I’m realizing I need to put more thought toward all the hours of love Phish invested in me. I shouldn’t be concentrating on his old age and how possibly uncomfortable his body was getting over time. That was a fraction compared to all his years of genuine love and obvious happiness.

Animals have a skill we don’t, maybe it’s more evolved, and maybe it’s less, but what I do know is the love is encompassing. They don’t get bogged down by all the other emotions out there: anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, and the like. It only takes a second to look them in the face, and stroke their body before they begin to exude a love exchange.

Phish was amazing at being a cat, and even better at showing me pure love.

Thursday, January 8

Are we One, 1000, or Infinity?

So many people who are a bit hippy-fied like myself tend to speak about the “we are one” thing. You know, that core belief for many schools of theology that have us all connected and something akin to multiple cells that are part of one organ.

I am not entirely sure I understand this “we are one” idea as good as I should because of how NOT connected or part of “one” I feel.

 I once wrote a post about not understanding all people, and I think I called it “we aren’t all human”. There is much about my open-minded and diplomatic personality that still will never be able to say that I am one with someone who acts in ways that I never would. I’ve also written about being understanding when I can’t relate, but I am taking here about the aspect of many people out there living and making choices that I wouldn’t make, that I don’t want to make, and I will never understand making. There are types of people who choose to live in negativity, who want to be mean, who say ignorant and terrible things, crawling through muddy negative energy, and I just can’t bring myself to believe “we are one” when I look at me, and I look at them.

How could we all be part of “one” when the differences are countless and unending? Different lives, different countries, different experiences, different energy, different core beliefs, and once I start examining how varied all lives are, I get really annoyed that anyone anywhere thinks we could possibly all be one, or all agree on any aspect of life, happiness, religion, energy, or even what to have for dessert.

I’m going to call it a concept, this “one-ness”, this idea of sameness. It’s like saying there SHOULD be agreement ultimately.

That’s craziness. It’s completely impossible. Why do so many believe agreement is important or necessary? If there is no way you could get everyone in the world to choose the same dessert, how could you get everyone to believe the same on anything, and really, how could we all be “one” if the concept of sameness or agreement is what “one” entails?

No… I think I’m talking myself out of ever being willing to understand “we are one”, because I believe in endless shades of black, white, and gray. Humans are so insistent on everything fitting within “right” or “wrong”, black or white, and the “we are one” concept is just that… another inaccurate concept.

People will read that and totally disagree, but prove my point. There isn’t agreement when we are all shaped by our experiences, surroundings, and everything we come in contact with.

I have had the misfortune lately of hearing the ugly ignorance of “I’m right, you’re wrong”, and it is not just ignorant, it’s bad energy. People choose to fight and argue that the muddy energy they are crawling around in is the “one” and something others should be part of. More mud spews from their mouths, and they insist they should not only be listened to, but agreed with. They even get venomous and full of fury over their right-ness.

And what does this accomplish? A further separation in the belief of “one” maybe, but really, venomous right-ness is the way to create enemies and insist you get left crawling around alone in the low muddy energy that ensures zero happiness and plenty of pain.

Why do people do this?

I’ve NO IDEA! Proof I am not “one with them”.