Sunday, June 16

Getting to know you…

…getting to know all…. about… you…

(Yes, I’m singing… which is a warning for the craziness of this concept for some.)

I’ve been in conversations lately about how we assume we know ourselves, because we ARE ourselves, but that couldn’t be further from the truth for me. (Maybe you can relate to this.)

Here’s a visual…
I will never walk into a room and shake my hand, have a conversation with myself, or see what facial expressions I make while I talk. I will never meet me the way I can meet every other person in the world. And the reverse is also true. I will never live in the mind of everyone in the world. Feel their feelings, have their likes and tastes.
I am in a position of knowing myself totally differently than every single being on the planet.
How could I possibly know myself just by existing as myself? I couldn’t. You couldn’t, nobody can.

Knowing yourself is completely and utterly unique… to the way you know anyone.
On one hand this sounds totally obvious, and on another it sounds totally stupid.

I’ll clarify…
I’m going to call it an opportunity, because it’s really quite awesome, the way in which we can be the one asking the questions and not only answering them, but experiencing the answer. (and even sometimes learning from the answer.)
Q: Do you like asparagus?
A: Um, lets taste it and see…. Yes. Delicious.
Not only do you get to ask and answer you get to know what it tastes/feels like.

The same would be true here:
Q: Do you like Michael?
A: Yes, he’s friendly, funny, and intelligent. I enjoy laughing with him, his company feels comfortable, I have fun when I am with him.
Not only do I answer that question, every word of the answer is backed by tastes and feelings. And those are specific for ME in relation to Michael. I’m asking, I’m answering, I’m feeling those answers.

Do you see what I mean by knowing yourself on levels you can’t know others? That aspect of knowing and feeling is done by you of you. It’s a whole chunk of EXTRA shit, you don’t experience for anyone but yourself.

You have advantages in knowing yourself, and getting to know yourself. Again, that seems obvious,
Lets say there is a personality type you don’t click with… you could spend all your life struggling with this personality type, or you could acknowledge the characteristics you don’t care for (loud, shy, extravert, introvert, expressive, subtle) knowing YOU means you know how to move more smoothly in life with others. It means you know the type of people to avoid, you know the type of people you enjoy, you learn skills for dealing with the difficult ones… and on and on.

It’s in the getting to know yourself that I believe you can grow at loving yourself, and loving others. (this is a loaded sentence, and could write a post on it alone.)
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I am going to change the subject slightly based on loving yourself… for a sec

It was when I learned I could like myself more by knowing myself more, that I realized the benefit in being the friend I want to have….
If I can be the person I like, the one I want to laugh with; I enjoy me, I get to like me, and in doing that, I become more genuinely ME.

One of the ways I use to get to know myself better, is to write… finding words for my feelings gives my eyes the opportunity to see how I feel. This is advice I always give my friends that seem unsure of what’s happening in their minds.

Put words to your feelings, and put those words in front of your eyes. You will know yourself even better by doing that.
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Around the age of 27 I had some Ah-ha moments about myself, that had me throwing my hands in the air and saying: “Why didn’t I know that about me?!?!”

I’ve done so much changing over the years and “getting to know” myself, I’ve finally accepted -it doesn’t stop!

It took a large event (divorce) to push me toward knowing myself better. Suddenly there was no “us” dynamic. It was just “me”, and I was given “an opportunity” to live with and get to know who I am.
And WOW, there is MUCH to learn. I’ve gained ten times more self knowledge in one year than I did in the last ten years.

Getting to know “me” has been fascinating. I won’t say fun, I won’t say exciting, I won’t say pleasurable, but as a whole, it has been a little of each of those things, and so I will say it has been Interesting.

But most of all, it’s been Important… I want to grow, I want things to be easier, I want to run this show I call my life, and knowing me is vital to success!

If you don’t yet know you… there’s a whole world there to explore. 
Kinda exciting huh?

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