Friday, September 26

This little Four-Letter word.

The size of a word has no relation to its importance in the universe or in language.
I’m realizing that “life” consists of an immeasurable number of things. Once you start to quantify what equals life, you realize how incredibly magical and miraculous our existence is. From blood to emotion, tissue to feeling, DNA to experience… you don’t realize who you are and all the innumerable components that make you YOU, with LIFE.

In this last year I’ve opened my mind in many new ways while shutting doors to availability. What I mean is I’ve said I want to know more, more about me, about the universe, and LIFE. Then I’ve said I’m going to stop giving so much of my time, space, willingness, skills, to others. Whatever IT is, I’ve given IT less. I’ve learned to say no and accept that the reaction others have to my unavailability is theirs to decide. They can be upset I’m not “there” for them, or they can accept I’m living my life. They are welcome to do so too.

I realized I literally can’t go in all directions because I don’t have limitless energy for everyone. Good for those who do. I’m putting myself first. Feeling whatever I want, whatever comes up, and allowing myself to LIVE. Breathing, laughing, crying, learning, loving, breaking, making, and doing anything I feel I should.  This isn’t being reckless either, I don’t mean I’m “rebelling” as such. I’m not lashing out and going crazy. I’m going inward and saying it’s important for wholeness and sanity.

Some people don’t like their own company. They don’t enjoy silence or concentration, they feel incomplete alone. I’m not that person. I encourage everyone to not be that person. Loving who you are and enjoying yourself is one of the most important things I can think of, and seeing your LIFE as a precious gem that needs to be treated right is what we all should do.

The knock-on effect of that, would be nobody taking energy. Each of us would have enough, we would be content with ourselves, and sense our importance and value. Then all interaction would come from a place of inner fulfillment, which would be more like sharing than giving or taking. 

Back to wholeness. I think it’s odd how unnatural so many of us find it to be ourselves. For almost all my life I didn’t know who I was, and it wasn’t ok to just be me, having an opinion, doing what I want, and saying NO when I felt like saying no. Getting to know myself means getting to a place of being able to say no. Now I’m living, feeling, thinking, allowing, and relaxing into being me… Into the thing taking up residence in this complicated piece of flesh, blood, bone, cell, and energy I call ME.

So, LIFE is a giant complicated word, more than I can define. The more I learn, the smaller my mind becomes in this maze of existence that so quickly falls out of my mouth as a four letter word: “LIFE”. 

No comments:

Post a Comment