Wednesday, October 1

Genuinely Genuine

You know how, when you put something on your radar, you notice it all over the place?
Like when you get a new car, you start noticing your car driving on the road around you, when you didn’t before.

I’ve had self esteem on my radar for so long I’m at the point where I think I can see in the expressions of people when they like themselves, and when they don’t. I can hear it in their voices, the subtle expressions they make, and sometimes I try to change it just by my short interaction with them.

I won’t say for definite I’m totally accurate, because it also looks and sounds like comfortable vs uncomfortable... So I can easily say they are uncomfortable, but I might not be accurate to include with that having a poor self esteem, or them not liking themselves.

However, I do find the one thing that is totally connected with self esteem in most cases is the comfort/discomfort thing. Where that comes into play is the way we feel after assigning assumptions to the way we think OTHERS perceive us. Or another easier way to say it… whether or not we think people like us.
 
Thus, my interaction with them, my tone of voice, my intention to convey acceptance always changes the persons expression, changes their tone, and I very seldom fail. So… it seems they find it easier to like themselves, or to be comfortable if I do my part to communicate acceptance and non-judgemental-ness.

And this, has everything to do with MY being comfortable. I’ve even noticed that if I’m comfortable enough to communicate through body language and facial expression (like being silly) that I don’t care how I’m perceived, people like me MORE. If I am genuine, and just open to looking or sounding silly without repercussion, people get comfortable.

Now, I don’t know if you can see where this is going, 'cause it’s a little hidden. But, If I start out comfortable, I encourage them to be comfortable, then if I SHOW I’m comfortable, they show they like me, which in turn increases my self esteem which allows me to be more comfortable. If I put it in a circle… I can show that the first thing leads right back to itself, and at each revolution of the circle, self esteem only increases. BTW, I’m not just talking about myself here… I’m saying you should try to notice this, and do it.

So the more you are genuine, the more you are you, the more comfortable you become, the more people like you, the more you feel liked, the more you like yourself, and then the more comfortable you are… and on that revolution of the circle turns.

I’m not saying that every person out there is going to have to be relied on to make your circle turn. That’s impossible: No way everyone will like you, that has to just be accepted, but… as you are genuinely you, and comfortable, many people will inevitably like you. And for most, the acknowledgement that people like them, DOES affect whether or not they like themselves. I wish we could all just easily and quickly make our choice and be happy with ourselves. Like whether or not we want Pizza for dinner. “Hell ya, I want pizza for dinner!” That was easy!

The reason I write this, is because I experienced this the other day. I was a bit animated in a story I was telling, and for some reason was very comfortable. It was in a conversation with someone I am familiar with, they noticed, and commented on how much they like me. THEN immediately after, I spoke with someone who was a stranger but I used that same comfort level, and told another story, (animated) and I got the same reaction!

People want you to be genuine. They want you to be yourself. They find it (really each of us finds it) refreshing and nice to be around people who are happy in their skin. The ones who are chill with the life they’ve been dealt, and comfortable having genuine interactions. We want to be around those people, so lets be those people.                                                                                                                        

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