What counts? The thought?

There are some sayings that have been around since the hills appeared. Their popularity and repetitiveness doesn’t make them worth keeping, and many need to be chucked. Especially when they get misused so much.

Ever noticed that it’s one sided when somebody says “It’s the thought that counts” ? Oh? Whose thought? Because if we are looking at how the person saying this is thinking, they are telling you that how they are perceiving your thoughts is not good, and labeling you, essentially saying their thoughts matter most. So then, the comment can be made back, “If it’s the thought that counts, your thoughts make you a jerk. My thoughts are no longer what we should be looking at.”

We need some examples:

If someone thinks of you on your birthday, they don’t tell you, but they thought of you, is it the fact they actually thought of you that counts? If another friend sends you a text, that too was a thought, but it manifested in your knowing they were thinking of you… so is that when it counts? Yet another friend turns up on your door with a card in their hand, gives you a hug, and tells you in person how much they hope you have a wonderful birthday… is this the kind of thought that finally counts? One with action? The old saying insinuates thought only, so if it’s not just a thought, does that negate the thought counting? Does this make it null and void from the expression, because there WAS action? Lastly, another friend calls you, says they are in your driveway, tells you to come get in the car, because they are taking you to a concert where one of your favorite bands are playing. Does their thought count? Is it only the thought that counts, or do their thoughtful actions count too?

Are you like me and finally wondering why the heck people even say this? If all the examples ^ counted, were the numbers equal? So, if “It’s the thought that counts” is true, are we supposed to be doing continual math to measure one event against another, one friend against another, one day to another, and if one friend has great thoughts for you one day, but none the next, do you tell them you are adding things up? That you have numbers, and you are not pleased!

Ya, this sounds immature, I’m trying to see it a different way, but actually, the thought that someone gets to tell you that what you were thinking, how you were thinking it, how it manifested itself in your actions, or lack of—is crazy. And then they get to decide how to treat you because of you living your life? Well, it’s all VERY immature.

Sure actions can speak louder than words, but that’s another of those sayings where the person saying it thinks they know the situation in which you acted. Maybe they do, but maybe they don’t too! Who gets to dictate actions? The person wanting to be upset that the action was not the action they wanted? They should dictate?

I want to suggest that we don’t know what others are thinking, how they are feeling, and nobody needs to use this saying, because they are JUDGING people in using it, and then being a hypocrite, because by their definition their judgmental thoughts have to count too!!