The concept of understanding, or more accurately NOT understanding something does not by default mean there is a ‘lack’ that should be fixed. To NOT understand is perfectly acceptable, and in numerous instances is best kept that way.
There are many things in this world that I will never understand, will not try to understand, and know it’s most healthy for me to not understand. (Like much of the awfulness in the world.)
Being understanding on the other hand is something I aim to be. I do not have to understand something to BE understanding.
I believe we all have a life to live that is partially our doing, and partially done to us. We have to deal with the cards we’ve been given, and we have to choose how we move forward.
That being the case, I believe each person deals with life differently and has every right to make their own choices. (We need to be true to ourselves.)
So… If someone I know is making choices that I personally would NOT make for my life, I don’t have to understand their choices, or agree with their choices. If they are dealing with something I cannot relate to, I did not experience myself, and I will not experience myself, I can be understanding for them if they need my friendship.
I aim to be understanding in many instances, I don’t aim to understand many things.
(And I plan to keep it that way.)