Thursday, July 25

The Stigma of Need

On one hand I love words. On the other, (on a pinky) I hate them.
What I hate is that we don’t have enough of them.
“Need” is a perfect example of why we don’t.
We need to eat. We need to drink.
We need to breathe… but needing to love makes you needy?
What just happened there?
The word NEED in association with love has been bastardized into something bad which IS a core need like drinking water.
We do need love, but needing love does not make you needy. There are so many levels of healthy need before you get to “needy”, and people act like it’s just that easy if you admit the need for love. 
UGH! Who is responsible for this?

Probably an expert who labels people with things like “Attention Deficit Disorder” (which is really modern day conditioning of people by media and technology, and evolution of the modern person’s brain due to the extreme use of “tools” we have. Internet speed as one example.)

I’m continuing to loose respect for experts when I see what listening to them is doing to the world…. Anyway, back to NEED.

Yes there is a state that fits “needy” when a person is so insecure and unhappy and incapable that they have no-thing for themselves and they turn to others asking for the majority of their core needs to be fulfilled by someone else. These needs no doubt include love.

Overall, people don’t want to be needy, so what do they do? They reject needs and why do they reject love so quickly? Cause it’s the biggest deal. It’s the most important and has the greatest bearing on our happiness. It’s also the one easiest to turn into a stigma… it’s the most painful, and the least cool or acceptable to ask for. 
If you’ve had the misfortune of being called “needy” you have some hurtful bandages to remove. But… Although they were hurtful, removing those bandages doesn’t hurt, it’s FREEING. Just take ‘em off!

That’s what I’m here for... you Need me to tell you to take those bandages off. I want to suggest the vast majority of people who think they are “needy” are NOT!
Am I needy for requiring food?  If I am, then guess what? I’m “needy” too!
In fact I need all sorts of things from this life.
I need to laugh,
I need to write,
I need to sleep 7-8 hrs at night,
I need to go on walks and photograph sunsets.
I need to have someone I can turn to and speak the words “I love you”.
I need someone to watch movies with,
I need a hand to hold on the days I’m happiest,
I need someone to drink coffee with,
I need someone to giggle with,
I need someone to say good morning to,
and I need someone who has these needs in return.

Does this make us “needy”? Nope, it makes us capable of seeing the beauty in “need”.
I Need Life!
The whole beautiful thing!!

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