Wednesday, January 1

Being Responsible for:

Who do you have to answer to?
Whose happiness are you responsible for?
Who owns you?
Who dictates your moves, actions and choices?
Who should?
Who acts like they should?

These are all good questions. I’m actually not sure I have the answers to these questions, because there are people in my life acting like their name should be the answer. I’m inclined to think My Name should be the answer to all of them. I WANT my name to be the answer to all of them.

So here’s the next question: If I feel I should be answering to myself, responsible only for my happiness, owning myself, dictating my own moves/actions/choices… Does that mean I don’t/can’t if others are insisting they should?

If they are insisting it without realizing, does that change anything?

If I want to insist I answer to myself, I dictate what I do, I’m only responsible for me; -do I have to flat out say:
You are not my responsibility!
I do not answer to you!
It’s not my job to make sure you are happy.

Or do I let it slide? One could argue that letting it slide is teaching them how to treat me. That THIS element of running of my life is ok, when it’s not.

We like to start each year off on the right foot, and I am seeing that I have allowed much along the lines of letting others feel they can dictate my moves/actions/choices; apparently convincing them I am responsible to answer to them.

One of the things I’ve been writing about in a book I’ve written on self esteem is: Being Self-full. I think I’m realizing I need to let some people know that my self-full-ness is more important than I conveyed in the past.

This is a tricky lesson I’m learning. I see Self-full-ness as a very healthy thing again and again, the problem is people who don’t want to you be Self-full, and want to be hurt by your desire to get there.

I’d like to find someone who has mastered the art of Self-full, I’d love to have a nice long chat!

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